In need of caring hearts
By Phyllis Moore
Published in News on March 27, 2018 5:50 AM
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News-Argus/CASEY MOZINGO
Michael Neekirk and Kathy Neal sit down at the table to color before lunch, playfully arguing about whose favorite color is better. Michael has been living with the Neal family for about a year through the Alternative Family Living program.
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News-Argus/CASEY MOZINGO
Jeffery Neal laughs as he and his wife, Kathy, talk about some of the experiences they have had welcoming Michael into their home.
There is a desperate need in Wayne County for caregivers to open their homes to adults with special needs, says Janet Connor Knox, community outreach coordinator for A Caring Heart Case Management.
That's where the Alternative Family Living program comes in. AFL matches up residential support services for those with physical or developmental disabilities.
"A lot of what we see are parents that have cared for their children at home as long as possible and parents are aging, or start getting sick to the point they can't take care of children who might be in their 30s or 40s," she said. "Right now we have got two or three parents that have cancer and it's terminal.
"Depending on the kind of client it is and the home environment they came from, we're just looking for the right fit."
Knox's role is to recruit families, much like the foster care and adoption efforts for children.
Many are not as familiar about the unique cases, though, where homes are needed for an older population, she said.
"There has been a move in North Carolina not to just institutionalize people but for them to be part of the community," she said. "We don't just lock a person up in an institution, and group homes are not always the best situation, either."
Sometimes the best match is empty-nesters. But most importantly, Knox said, the prerequisite is those with a big heart.
People like Kathy and Jeffery Neal.
The Goldsboro couple had a lengthy history in the field -- from the 17 years Jeffery worked at the Eastern N.C. School for the Deaf in Wilson to being foster parents and working in group homes.
Kathy was one of nine children and with her husband, adopted seven children. The latter are now all grown, leaving the Neals feeling their job as parents was done.
But then came Michael, now 38.
"I have been working with A Caring Heart --I have another client that I work with, who has autism," Jeffery said. "They asked me if I was interested in having someone in my home as well."
Michael actually moved in with the family in 2016, staying only three months at that time because he was able to reunite with relatives. But things changed and he returned to live with the Neals in last June.
It can be challenging, the couple admitted.
Michael is animated and enthusiastic, sometimes requiring direction and a calming influence.
"He's a character when he wants to be," Kathy said. "He's smarter than a lot of people give him credit for.
"We do a lot together -- we shop, we love thrift stores, he shops as much as I do and he loves people."
The Neals have seen a positive shift in Michael, simply by providing a safe and comfortable environment.
"He knows he's loved. He knows he's in a family," Kathy said.
"We have kids that are in and out but he enjoys talking with them and just being around in a family atmosphere," Jeffery said. "This is home."
Clients can still have contact with their family of origin, the couple said. And they are able to fold into the normal routine of the household.
"In this program you're not locked down," Kathy said. "You're able to take them where you go.
"If you want to go out of town, you can go out of town. You're not restricted."
It has been a rewarding experience, the Neals agree.
Adding Michael to the mix may have been an adjustment but the couple was used to taking care of people so it just fit.
"My mom was 'mom' to everybody," Kathy said. "And I had a sister that was mentally challenged, back when they institutionalized them. When the facility closed, she went into a setting like this.
"I saw what it did for my sister."
Alternative Family Living is a good program, the couple says, and they recommend others consider becoming involved in it.
"I do advise anyone to look into it because you're helping somebody," Kathy said. "It's a good thing -- even with the struggles -- the good outweighs anything else."
For more information about AFL, call 919-587-0189 or visit www.acaringheartinc.com.