'A kind, gentle man'
By Kenneth Fine
Published in News on April 16, 2015 1:46 PM
News-Argus/CASEY MOZINGO
Flowers rest on a memorial created in memory of Ron Lane on the Wayne Community College campus this morning. Lane, who was fatally shot on campus Monday morning, is being remembered by his family as a "kind, gentle" man, family spokesman Steven Smith said today. A celebration of life service is being planned to honor Lane. A prayer service was held today.
Steven Smith remembers when his cousin, Ron "Dwight" Lane, was "just a little baby" -- how, as an infant, he was seemingly always smiling.
He can still see the "shy, but loving" toddler who never got into "any type of mischief" -- and the teenager who would do "anything for anyone."
Their last encounter, while brief, still plays out inside Smith's mind -- the conversation "about daily things -- about life."
But this morning, he could not find the words to describe what it was like to learn that the "kind, gentle" man he knew had been fatally shot Monday morning on the Wayne Community College campus.
"When it was confirmed ... it was a tragedy that is very hard to understand. How could this even happen?" Smith said. "I have accepted it, but I don't understand it -- probably will never understand it."
For those who knew "the true Ron," the shock of his death has not yet subsided -- nor has the grief that has accompanied them since they learned that he was gone.
And while the family, through Smith, has requested privacy in the aftermath of the shooting, Lane's cousin felt it was important to thank the community for its prayers -- and to set the record straight about who his loved one "really was."
"We knew the true Ron and there has been a lot -- and will continue to be a lot -- of things said about the character of Ron, but know this: Those of us who knew Ron, knew the true Ron," Smith said. "We knew who he was and what he was."
Lane was, he added, an openly gay man.
But that does not make claims associated with his sexual orientation by his killer, Kenneth Stancil, true, Smith said.
In fact, the man who has been portrayed in some news stories since the murder is a far cry from the caring soul those who knew him best interacted with every day.
"Ron, or Dwight as we knew him, was always a kind, gentle and loving person. He was always a good person. He would not hurt a fly," Smith said. "He was a super, super friend to anybody who knew him. He would give his shirt off his back for anybody. That's what we want people to know about Ron."
So as details about what led to his murder emerge, Lane's family will cling to the faith they say he lived by -- and remember that no matter what is said to the contrary, the man they loved was one of the good guys.
And they will hope for his killer -- and his family -- the same love they say Lane carried with him every day.
"We need to remember that there is a love out there -- the true love that is God's love," Smith said. "So we also would like to send a prayer to the Stancil family -- especially his mother, because she is grieving at this time, also. And we will be, most likely, forgiving Mr. Stancil. That's what God's love teaches us.
"But just know that God has wrapped his arms around this family and we feel his love."