Don't forget to hug your child: Nonprofit seeks to eliminate community violence
By Sierra Henry
Published in News on July 18, 2018 5:50 AM
Full Size
News-Argus/CASEY MOZINGO
Laura Crawford picks with her granddaughter Royal Best, 2, trying to get her to smile at her home Tuesday. Also pictured are more members of Crawford's family, from left, Ambryss Flores, 15, Masiah Best, 6, Machala Flores, 11, Peggy Flores and Joseph Flores, 14. Although Laura takes every opportunity to hug and say "I love you" to her three children, 11 grandkids, one great-grandchild and dozens of nieces and nephews, she has signed a Hug and Love Key pledge with Keys to Healing.
Eighty-eight parents have signed a pledge to hug their children and tell them they love them daily in an effort to decrease the epidemic of anti-social behaviors in their communities.
The pledge, known as the Hug and Love Key, was created by Bill Sutton and is one of 44 proposals he has written in an effort to eradicate violence, drug abuse and poverty in America and closer to home, in Goldsboro.
"That's the key where we are actually asking parents to nurture their children more and strengthen their bond with their children," Sutton said.
"We believe that if we can get people to actually do that, that's going to start to begin solving part of the problems, especially with the senseless violence and rage."
"We think that's so important now because when you talk to these young folk out here that's causing the problems, when you dig deep, you find that there's a lack of nurturing growing up."
Keys to Healing is a nonprofit organization that Sutton founded in 2015 in Goldsboro in order to promote and reinforce positive behavior. The organization hopes to focus on the first of the 44 resolutions, or "keys," known as the Hug and Love Key.
Sutton hopes that through Keys to Healing and the Hug and Love Key, the community can begin to promote positive solutions that will curtail the negative effects of ethnic and gender biases, which he believes are ingrained in American culture.
"We have on the website studies that show that when (nurturing) is lacking in your life growing up, you (have a) 90 percent chance of you just going out and doing all the things, the anti-social stuff," said Sutton.
"But when you get that (care and nurture), you're more likely to be a productive, happy and emotionally stable person as an adult."
The study Sutton references was written by Alan Sroufe, psychologist of the Institute of Child Development, University of Minnesota, who states that primary caregivers are important for a child's psychological growth. This means that children are securely attached when they feel assured by their primary caregiver's presence -- when they are upset, they can be soothed by the caregiver's presence.
Sroufe's study showed that insecurely attached children will seek comfort but are less assured by the caregiver's presence. Also, children who are securely attached to their caregivers are more likely to be self-reliant, have lower rates of mental disorders, do well in school and have good peer relationships.
"What we're talking about is strengthening the bond (between children and their primary caregivers), making it a secure bond," Sutton said. "That is what the Hug and Love Key is designed to do.
"It's virtually impossible for the soils of hate or rage to penetrate any foundation securely built on love."
He believes that when children grow up without having someone to tell them that they are loved and matter in life, they will turn toward behaviors such as drug use, alcohol, violence and sex as means to fill a "hole."
Diane Shannon, grant and fundraising coordinator for Keys to Healing, joined the cause after hearing about Sutton's vision. She said that she agreed with the idea that children are not given enough nurturing and love when they are younger, and she wanted to help future generations receive that care.
"When I was growing up, and this is pretty much in the black community, there's not lot of love that's given or shown in our families," Shannon said.
"So, when I was a kid growing up, I didn't get that. I promised that I would do that with my kids, so when I heard about this I said, you know, this is what a lot of kids have been missing in their lives. That hugging and loving, that bonding ... I thought it was important to get that message out there."
Laura Crawford, an assistant teacher at Dillard Academy Charter School, testified about the success of the Hug and Love Key pledge. According to her, her grandchildren, who she hugs every day, have started initiating the hugs when they have done something wrong or are about to get into trouble.
She also believes that it is important for her to hug the children she works with at school every day because physical contact is important in their daily lives.
"The only hope I have for this program is more people get involved," Crawford said. "You never know what's going on in that child's life and sometimes that might be the only contact they get that day."
Sutton and Shannon said that Keys to Healing have several community bonding events and advertisements planned to promote their hug and love message. They do not want the parents to stop after signing the pledge and intend to stay engaged with them once a month. For August, they plan to hold an event at the bowling center where the parents and their children can attend for free and discuss the Hug and Love Key.
Sutton also wanted to make sure that parents understand that he is not saying they do not love their children.
"I realize that parents, caregivers and guardians of children truly love their children," he said. "All I am saying is that each child needs a regular expression of affection for his or her positive emotional growth."
For more information about Keys to Healing, the Hug and Love Key and the studies they draw from, visit https://www.keys2heal.org.