The children: Tragic tales of abuse, neglect hard to hear anywhere

There is a case before the courts in Hawaii this week concerning a father, a former soldier, who allegedly struck his child so hard that she died.

There is some dispute over whether the child, who faced some developmental difficulties, actually died from injuries sustained in that attack.

Investigators found that the little girl's father and his wife, the child's stepmother, regularly abused the 5-year-old -- for more than a year.

The child was also mistreated by her biological mother, who lost custody, which is how the little girl ended up with her father.

And while there are some unique aspects to this case -- the father's profession, the child's parentage -- the bottom line is that this is not an unfamiliar story.

In this case, like in so many others, you are left wondering: How can we protect children in circumstances like this? and Why did no one see what was going on sooner?

But it is even more basic than that.

We have to start thinking about some basic questions about parents, children and rights vs. privileges and responsibilities.

Why can't we teach some people that having a child is a serious responsibility and one that cannot be discarded when the original relationship goes sour? What options are available to stop those who should not have children from having them or to prevent those with a proven track record of bad parenting from destroying more young lives?

Why can't we police situations like this and get these children away from parents who are not caring for them or who are hurting them?

What do we need to do to find loving, caring homes for children who are caught in this sort of horrendous cycle of abuse?

In short, how do we create a children's services organization that is efficient and does not let children like this fall through the cracks? And what kind of penalty system should there be for parents who are the reason their children face poverty, dismal futures or perhaps no life at all?

It is a bunch of really tough questions.

But these are discussions we are going to have to have in communities and as a society if we are going to really get to the bottom of the issue.

If we want to help children like this -- from all walks of life -- we have to look at the bare bones, bottom line facts and to face the sad realities of this problem.

It won't be a comfortable discussion, not if we do it right.

But it is simply one we must have.

Published in Editorials on April 23, 2014 10:55 AM