06/15/14 —

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This is a message for the Class of 2014, but not the usual one that accompanies a momentous occasion like graduation from high school or college.

It does not contain the usual platitudes that are characteristic of speeches of this sort -- and it has no agenda, political or otherwise.

It begins with a simple endorsement.

Your parents were right.

For years, you have listened to your mom and dad -- and perhaps your grandmother and grandfather, if you are lucky enough to still have them -- tell you -- well, nag you -- about what is important in life.

You have probably heard the words so many times you can recite them verbatim -- honor, honesty, be your own person, hard work, initiative, respect.

And you have probably dismissed their criticism of you or perhaps some of your fellow teenagers as the sour grapes of people who are not only not hip, but who are no longer up to speed on the rules of a changing world.

You might even think you know better.

Think again.

But before we start, let's admit something: Every generation thinks it has all the answers and that those who have come before just don't get it.

We did. Our parents did and perhaps, to a certain extent, our grandparents did, too.

But what you will learn as you head out into the world is one of the most valuable tools you will use as you make your own way -- perspective.

You will learn that when your parents were nagging you about what you were wearing, it was not just that your pants were too loose or your skirt was too short.

It was that they wanted you to have respect for yourself and to telegraph a message to others that they should respect you, too.

And when they jumped on you for bending the truth about what happened to the family car -- or asked you about a call from the school, they were trying to impress upon you that a man or woman who is honorable and trustworthy and whose word is his or her bond is 400 times more valuable than even the most high-paid professional athlete or thugged out rapper.

And when they gave you advice you did not want or nosed around in your personal life, passing judgment -- unfounded as it seemed -- on the people with whom you chose to spend your time, they were trying to teach about choices, and how one wrong one can change a life forever.

And when they demanded that you mow the grass to get money for the weekend, made you wait longer than anybody else before they allowed you to get a cell phone or made you take some of your own money to buy that fancy pair of jeans or awesome sound system, they were trying to teach you that nothing is free, and that there is certain satisfaction in making your own way.

We can tell you something that your parents already know -- life can be tough. It can be unfair, brutal and sometimes dreams can be dashed, at least temporarily.

We can tell you that although you will go through some bad times, you will go through some highs, too. Getting through the former requires recognizing and appreciating the latter.

And we can tell you that you will find that being an adult, and later, a parent, is not easy.

You will worry about the same things you see your parents worry about -- and someday, you will drive a teenager crazy, too.

It is how it has always been and how it always will be.

But the most important piece of advice we can give you -- and the one your parents would like to see you imprint on your memory -- is that you have one life to live.

Use it wisely. Care for the gifts you have been given and share the joys and work through the sorrows. Don't be afraid to ask for help -- or to admit you have made a mistake. There is no greater sign of a courageous person than someone who has the guts to start over.

And, most importantly, don't forget where you came from and about the sacrifices that have been made to get you where you are.

Gratitude is a skill and one that sets you up for a life of responsibility, respect and perspective.

So congratulations Class of 2014. We have confidence that your lives will be full of promise and possibilities.

And please, feel free to share our advice with the Class of 2034 and beyond.

We promise, it will be as true then as it is now.

Published in Editorials on June 15, 2014 12:33 AM