A love match made of love
By Phyllis Moore
Published in News on April 9, 2018 5:50 AM
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Trish Jones gives her husband, Doug, a kiss before the kidney transplant the couple underwent back in February. Statistically, a non-blood relative is not a match, but Trish pursued the testing so she could donate to her husband of nearly 46 years.
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Trish Jones of Seven Springs is prepped for surgery before she donated a kidney to her husband, Doug, at left, surrounded by their family, from left, son-in-law Brad Pabst, goddaughter Stacy Salisbury, daughters Sheri Pabst and Brandi Massey and son-in-law Matt Massey.
SEVEN SPRINGS -- When Doug Jones' kidneys began to fail and he was placed on a transplant list, no one would have thought his wife of nearly 46 years would be a match.
Except Trish Jones.
She had registered as an organ donor years ago and never wavered, even when it would ultimately tap into her marriage vows -- in sickness and in health.
Her thought was, if she was willing to do it when she was dead and gone, surely she could do it for her husband.
Doug, 66, had had health challenges over the years -- high blood pressure since his early 20s, which can lead to kidney failure, as well as cancer, diabetes and then in 2014, congestive heart failure. He opted not to do dialysis, with his doctor helping him manage the situation for over two years through medication and diet.
"I reached a point where I had to go to dialysis or go on a machine," he said. "We started looking for a kidney. Since we weren't blood kin, there was not much chance at all that (Trish) would match."
The clock was also ticking, Trish says. Sometimes the process to getting a transplant can take five or six years, and Doug didn't have that kind of time.
She says he had until age 70 to get a donor, complicated by the fact that the couple shares the same blood type, O-positive, which means the donor must be that as well.
The past year or two were particularly difficult, between the heart failure, the kidney failure and Doug's energy level was declining.
But Trish's faith, and fortitude, stayed strong, as she pressed to be tested.
Turned out she was a match.
The journey was just beginning.
She had to undergo three days of extensive testing, to make sure her heart was strong and that she was cancer-free and had good kidney function.
"The hardest part for me was, Trish was perfectly healthy," Doug says. "She doesn't take any medicine. She can do anything she wants to do. I hated to risk her health."
They also had to get clearance from the 60-70-member transplant team. All of them had to sign off on it before the surgery was a go.
One dissenting vote blocked the path. One physician, a heart doctor, said "no."
That may have saved Doug's life.
A short while later a blockage in his heart was discovered. After that was corrected, it took about a year to get back to the point of doing a transplant.
The his-and-her surgeries took place Feb. 13 at UNC Hospital, with Trish's operation starting first.
"They get to a certain point, they come in and make sure the kidneys are good, where they want it, then they bring in Doug," Trish explained. "Because he's got a kidney from a living donor, that helps with the survival rate. And there's more chance of success if they haven't done dialysis."
Because of an unforeseen hiccup, he wound up being in the hospital 36 days, rather than the anticipated four or five days like his wife.
"They discovered an ulcer that I didn't know I had," Doug said. "It decided to take that time to bleed.
"They had to give me 33 pints of blood, and operated on me four times."
Trish stayed close by throughout her husband's hospitalization, at State Employees' Credit Union Family House.
The time since has involved isolation, with the couple having to avoid crowds and any setbacks, especially during flu season.
They were blessed to have help from their two daughters and a god-daughter, Brandi Massey and husband, Matt, who have a 5-year-old son, Scott, and Sheri and Brad Pabst, whose son, Brady, is 10, and Stacy Salisbury.
Doug came home in early March and says he is taking "baby steps" in his recovery.
Trish, meanwhile, has gotten along very well.
"I never had any pain, had some soreness but never had any pain with it," she said. "They actually released me after four weeks. They will do bloodwork again in three months, six months, a year, two years, just to sort of check to see what my kidney function is."
According to her, there was no other choice in stepping up for her husband.
"I look at it, I'm 64 years old. I've lived all my life, a good part of my life. I've achieved everything I've tried to achieve -- raised some good children, they have good husbands and good jobs," she said. "If we have got another 10 or 15 years, good, then we can spend it doing what we want to do."
Doug, still a bit weak, has to take it easy for a bit longer. He can't venture far from their Seven Springs farm, be in large crowds or eat certain things. But when the time is right, he has one goal on his list, to demonstrate his love and appreciation to his wife.
"I missed Valentine's Day so I owe her for Valentine's. I missed her birthday, so it's going to cost me," he said with a laugh.
His sense of humor is still intact, from the matching shirts they wear -- "I shared a spare" for Trish and "I got the spare" for Doug -- to puns about the new organ.
"Now I'm like American Express -- I never leave home without it," he joked.
Getting serious, though, he says there are no words to express his gratitude for the "ultimate love" his wife's gesture represents.
"We've been married for 46 years, and we've always been close," he said. "We do everything together.
"It just makes me appreciate all of that more, a lot more. I mean, for somebody that risks their life to save yours is big."
Trish did not do it alone, she said.
"I just feel like the Lord was in it from the very beginning because we matched and then every hurdle that we had to get through, it was like the Lord just opened the doors," she said. "So when Doug got really sick in the hospital, afterwards, even though there were some really low days, I told him, the Lord's not brought us all this way for the ball to drop now."