A forever love
By Becky Barclay
Published in News on February 12, 2017 1:45 AM
Full Size
Submitted photo
Elle and James Vickory leave their wedding ceremony as man and wife for the first time. They say the secret to a long and happy marriage is friendship.
Full Size
News-Argus/CASEY MOZINGO
Peter and Judith Aycock sit on a couch in their home. The high school sweethearts have been married for more than 54 years. They say the secret to a long marriage is putting God first.
Full Size
News-Argus/SETH COMBS
Elle and James Vickory take a break from a dance at Walnut Creek Country Club. They dated 12 years before they decided to tie the knot.
Full Size
Submitted photo
Peter and Judith Aycock are shown on their wedding day 541â2 years ago. Now that they are retired, they can be seen going everywhere and doing just about everything together.
Valentine's Day is fast approaching -- a time when couples use flowers, candy, teddy bears and other things to show how much they care for each other.
That's especially true for married couples, some of whom have been side by sides for years and others who are just beginning their lives together.
Two Wayne County couples talk about what it takes to have a long and happy marriage.
After nearly 55 years of marriage, Peter and Judith Aycock still like to cuddle on the couch. They still like to do things together and go places together.
"He's my shadow and I'm his," 76-year-old Judith said. "It was more difficult when we were first married because he was a farmer and I was a teacher. When I could go, he could not go because it was his busiest time. When he could go, I couldn't. So vacations were long weekends."
The couple first met in grade school. They started dating when Judith was a junior in high school -- and have dated ever since, she said.
"We knew we were going to get married," Judith said. "He bought a ring. In fact, we picked it out together because he wanted me to have what I wanted.
"We just went on a date one time, and he gave me the ring, then I had to go home and tell my mom. It was a very simple proposal."
Judith and Peter said their vows Aug. 26, 1962.
They are not the only ones in their families who have had a long marriage.
Peter's mother and father were married about 63 years before his dad died. His brother was married 61 years before he died.
Judith's brother was married 56 years.
And the couple's sons are following in their parents' footsteps. One has been married 25 years and the other 18 1/2 years.
"I hope our sons have seen through our marriage what to expect," Judith said.
One lesson she hopes they've learned is that it takes work to make a good marriage that lasts for years and years.
"You've all got rough edges and your different personalities," she said. "It does take commitment. It takes love. It takes patience."
Above all, Judith said, it takes God.
"The secret to a long marriage is God," she said. "We've always focused on Him and what we should be doing for Him. God has just been the center of our lives. He's the strength when you're down."
Throughout their marriage, each has been a helpmate to the other.
Including the time when Judith had knee surgery.
"He looked after me and did whatever needed to be done," she said.
"And we each had our roles in our marriage. We learned to work together. When our first child was born, I had to go back to work. While I would wash the baby and get him ready for be, he (Peter) cleaned up the dishes. We worked together to make things workable."
Of course they had the occasional spat, like any married couple.
"But we didn't dwell on it," Judith said. "We said what we had to say and went on. Nothing has kept us apart from one another. Yes, we've had little spats, but no, we've not had a major obstacle in our marriage."
Peter, 77, gave this advice to any couple wanting to have a long, happy marriage: "You have your little arguments. You can let them extend on out or you can just bring it right in and forget it -- like we did. Marriage takes work. But it's worth it."
*
Friendship -- that's the secret to a good long marriage for Elle and James Vickory.
They were best friends for a while before they decided to tie the knot Sept. 23, 2016.
"You have to be friends first to make a marriage last," James said. "We had a 12-year romance precursor. Elle's one of my best friends, if not my best friend. And we are keeping it like that during our marriage."
"We made real, real sure it was right," Elle said. "We definitely wanted the marriage to last. We both lived at home and wanted to get financially secure. We didn't want anything to change the marriage."
Elle said her grandparents were married a very long time.
James said most of his relatives have also been married a long time. So the couple got a lot of advice about how to have a long marriage, including laughter.
"Our relatives told us to keep it casual," James said. "Being able to joke, laugh, play, that goes a long way."
"You don't stay mad long whenever you're able to laugh," Elle said.
She said James makes her laugh as soon as he makes her mad.
Elle said she and James knew after about year two of dating that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. But it wasn't until 10 years into dating that they actually started talking about it.
James said he doesn't know the exact moment he knew he wanted to marry Elle.
"It just happened over time for me," he said. "When me and Elle first started dating, I said as long as we're happy, that's the bottom line. We've never not been happy."
Their engagement is something neither will ever forget.
"It was one of those moments that we really didn't want to end," James said. "She knew that I was definitely going to propose, but she didn't know when or how it was going to happen. I wanted her to pick out the ring because I wanted it to be exactly the way she wanted."
James contacted his family and Elle's and coordinated with them to get them all together at the beach for the proposal.
"I kept them hidden from Elle," James said. "She thought we were going to have pictures so we got dressed up and the photographer was supposedly running late. So Elle and her sister took a walk and I write in the sand on the beach 'Elle, will you marry me?'
"When she walked back, I hit a knee and asked her to marry me. All of her family and mine was there to witness it and that was what was really special to me."
Marriage hasn't changed James and Elle personally or professionally.
"I stay on the road with my job probably two or three days a week," James said. "As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. One of my favorite things to look forward to is coming home to Elle."
Their first year as a married couple, James and Elle will be apart Valentine's Day because of his job.
"This year, we'll just move it back a few days," he said.
Both look forward to growing old with their best friend.
"Having a best friend be with you all the time, that's an honor that a lot of people don't get," James said. "It's a privilege."
"It's a great ride," Elle added.