Alone on the streets
By Rochelle Moore
Published in News on December 24, 2016 12:00 PM
Full Size
News-Argus/ROCHELLE MOORE
Pam Hicks visits Harvest Fellowship Church, on Walnut Street, where she receives food, clothing and a break from being homeless in Goldsboro. Hicks turned 55 on Christmas Eve. She is recovering from a recent beating she took over the $12 that was in her pocket.
-- Being homeless is hard enough. Tack on having nowhere to go during the holidays, and life gets much harder. But, for many women, surviving on the street is a daily struggle as unforgiving at Christmas as it is any other day of the year --
Pam Hicks used to own a house in Wilmington. She had children, was married and worked a full-time job.
Somewhere along the road, between the beatings and abuse, she finally ended up homeless.
She's lived on the streets, on and off, for years, most recently close to six months in Goldsboro.
She's tired, tired of barely sleeping at night for fear that someone may attack her. It's happened before, just two weeks ago when someone learned she had a little cash.
"It's not funny being out here," she said. "I'm a female, and I'm afraid to go to sleep. That's why I got wrinkles under my eyes. I'm always watching and wondering.
"I need a safe haven because I can't make it out here."
In mid-December, just before nighttime temperatures started to drop near 30 degrees, she was walking along Daisy Street and was attacked and beaten.
"I went into a blackout," she said. "Somebody woke me up and said, 'You've got so much blood on you.' I said, 'Lord Jesus.' I went to do this and that, got up and wobbled, and I ended up calling 911 and went to the hospital.
"I got stitches in my nose. You see three of them? It hurts, too."
Pam thinks someone learned she had a little cash -- $12. When she got to the hospital, she found 50 cents in her pocket.
"But, I didn't get raped, thank God," she said.
So far, she's only been robbed, mostly by people wanting her clothing or some of the most basic necessities, undergarments, toothpaste and her Bible.
*
Pam sleeps on the porch of a vacant house in one of the older neighborhoods in the city. Her only companion ---- a 9-year-old, gray and white cat she calls Baby.
"She's my best friend," Pam said. "She's on the porch right now. I'm putting boxes up to keep the wind off the cat right now."
She also visits Manna House, a charitable food and clothing distribution ministry at Harvest Fellowship Church, on West Walnut Street.
"The only place she feels loved is in here," said Kathy Rackley, Manna House director. "She knows we love her, and we want to do what we can for her."
Rackley is not only concerned about Pam, but also other women living on Goldsboro's streets. She meets a lot of people in need, including the homeless, from Manna House, which provides a hot breakfast, food, clothing and other items every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday morning.
"We are Americans," Rackley said. "We are citizens. We are humans, and it is our responsibility to each other to help. We shouldn't turn a blind eye to what's happening to these people."
While some Manna House volunteers estimate that there are nearly 30 homeless women in Goldsboro, others say it's hard to know an exact number.
Rackley knows some who are living in their vehicles with children. Some are still in need following Hurricane Matthew in October.
"They've still got jobs," she said. "They've still got kids, but they're living out of their vehicles, especially since the flood because they've got nowhere to go. And social services, a lot of times if they find out about a lot of that stuff, they'll take the kids away from them so they try to be real hush-hush."
Even though Manna House is helping where it can, Rackley believes a women's homeless shelter is needed in Goldsboro. It's her dream to open a shelter -- Agape House for Women -- in the near future.
*
The Salvation Army of Goldsboro has a men's shelter, and the House of Fordham provides shelter for homeless men and families.
Linda Burroughs, director of the House of Fordham, also has two houses that shelter homeless women. Both are full with a total of eight women and one infant, she said.
Burroughs sees more men and families needing shelter, and said many women usually find family to stay with when they have nowhere else to go.
"You have a lot less women looking for shelters," Burroughs said. "If it's one woman, I can find them a place to stay, unless there's a severe problem."
Shelters at the Salvation Army and House of Fordham have rules that prohibit alcohol and drug use. The Salvation Army will also turn away men with violent criminal histories, due to safety concerns, said Lt. Phillip Stokes, commander of the Salvation Army of Goldsboro.
COUNTING THE HOMELESS
Attempts have been made to count the number of homeless annually in January through the Point-in-Time Count, a nationwide initiative of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. The count is coordinated and recorded by the N.C. Coalition to End Homelessness.
In January, the effort identified 54 homeless people, including one child and four veterans, in Wayne County. Of those identified, 35 were staying in transitional housing, 19 in an emergency shelter and none were found on the streets.
Stokes said if people know a homeless count is planned, they tend to scatter.
"We know that they're there," he said. "We know they're out there."
Stokes sees more men seeking shelter during colder months and four to five women seek shelter, on average, each month, he said.
"It's hard to get a handle on the women who are homeless because they're not out where you can see them as much," Stokes said. "People are more apt to let women sleep on their couches. It's more hidden, so we don't see the numbers like we do for men. I think if there was a shelter for women, we'd see more."
Based on the number of people seeking shelter at the Salvation Army, Stokes said the Point-in-Time Count is probably low.
Marty Teachey, a Manna House volunteer, believes there could be as many as 200 homeless people, including 30 to 40 women and children, in the county. Burroughs said it's just hard to know.
"I don't think you could ever have an idea," Burroughs said. "I don't think you have a way of knowing that."
Stokes said the Salvation Army would like to have a women's homeless shelter, but the nonprofit ministry lacks adequate space and funding.
Rackley is working on a plan to potentially open a homeless shelter for women in the city.
AGAPE HOUSE
"We're hoping in the future to have an Agape House for Women because of the amount of women on the streets," Rackley said. "They cannot fend for themselves. They are very vulnerable. They have been used and abused. Families have thrown them away. They have nowhere to go, nowhere to turn."
Rackley said many women ask for a place to live while they get back on their feet again.
"We hear their pleas and their cries," she said. "It's just wrong. It's just wrong for people to have to live that way, and most of the time, it's not by any choice of their own but what life has dictated to them."
OFFERING HOPE
Rackley, who was at Manna House recently when Pam walked in with a stitched up nose and battered face, said it's difficult to see what she's going through.
"It just breaks my heart," she said.
Pam is a Goldsboro-area native, and a 1980 graduate of Charles B. Aycock High School. She previously worked as a teaching assistant when she lived near the coast.
After two marriages and the loss of custody of her children, she can't remember the last time she had a stable life.
"She has been abused her whole life," Rackley said.
She isn't interested in talking much about the loss of family or her children. Rackley said the conversation tends to trigger painful memories.
"Even when I get a little money, they take advantage of me and throw me away," Pam said.
She still has a glimmer of hope and believes her life would get better if she had a place to stay, encouragement to start over again and a clearer path for the future.
"I would get it back on my mind and accomplish what I need to accomplish," she said. "I don't know which direction to go. I need some help. I need a place to stay."
Rackley said Pam does have hope, but it's waning.
"She hasn't lost all of that yet, but its diminishing," Rackley said. "Every year, I see it get weaker and weaker.
"She's a smart woman. She's just been beat down. Life itself has beat her down."
Pam turned 55-years-old on Christmas Eve. Rackley, who was slipped a private donation for her, planned to buy her a Christmas gift.
"There's nobody who gives her anything for Christmas," she said.
And even though she lives on the streets, she does find her way to Harvest Church.
"I tell her every chance I get, how much I love her," Rackley said. "I say 'Pam, you know I love you.' She says, 'I know you do.'"