Growing older
By Phyllis Moore
Published in News on August 29, 2016 1:46 PM
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News-Argus/CASEY MOZINGO
Emily Peacock spends time in the kitchen cooking breakfast with two of her grandchildren, Aedan, 10, and Benjamin Peacock, 12, on Friday before they go back to school. She spends as much of her time visiting with her children and nine grandchildren as she can, traveling to visit them out of town or cheering for them at sporting events.
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News-Argus/STEVE HERRING
Dr. Lee Adams works out at the YMCA several days a week, often arriving as early as 5:30 a.m. The retired optometrist just turned 91 and credits faith, physical activity and relationships with being "good medicine" for his health.
Helen Pierce recalled the stranger who showed up on her doorstep one day, looking for Mrs. Pierce's son.
Since she was not home alone, she invited the woman in.
Later, her son shared how the visitor was impressed by the Southern hospitality and how "this little old lady invited me right in," she said.
"Why would anybody call me a little old lady?" Mrs. Pierce asked, rhetorically.
She is 87.
"Time does seem like it's just gone and I can't believe sometimes that I'm this age," she said. "It's strange that so many of my close friends have always been younger.
"I don't know why but I think it's because they have been with their grandmothers and they're reminded of their grandmother."
The popular substitute teacher, who has worked in the Rosewood schools for more than four decades, has had her share of health issues in recent years but shrugs off each as being a normal part of life.
"I don't really think about any sickness I have had, about my eye," she said, referencing the cancer she had a few years ago that was successfully treated. "The only think I think about is, thank God for a good eye. I really don't dwell on the negative."
She also doesn't spend much time contemplating the what-ifs of growing older.
"I'm not going to cross that bridge until I come to it," she said. "One thing that I constantly do is to take it one day at a time. If you try to solve tomorrow's problems, you can't. I know Who's in control. God. I can't change anything.
"Those are two things that keep me focused and rarely do I ever think about what's going to happen down the road. Who knows what's going to happen down the road? Only the Lord knows."
While keenly aware of the physical changes that getting older brings, there are also other shifts.
"I know my worst, like in the last year or so, is names. It's like slow motion. You can ask me somebody's name. Maybe five-and-a-half seconds from now I might could tell you," she said. "The other thing, I walk to the cabinet back and forth but if I keep my mind on it, maybe two things I could handle, but not three things.
"I walk a lot because if I go after something, I might forget what it was and have to go back and retrace steps. They say if you remember when you get back, you're OK but if you get back and don't remember, you're in trouble."
Getting older is not for the faint of heart.
And yet there is no roadmap for how to navigate.
"Everybody's situation is different," says Emily Peacock, who turned 75 earlier this month. "The body is going to give out and you have to live with that reality.
"We grow up thinking we're invincible and we can do anything we want to do in this free America that we're in, and then you come to a point in life, you realize, wait a minute, I am not in control. And that's hard."
Widowed two years ago, there has been an adjustment to being alone.
"I work really hard to do, quote, the right things as much as I can. Except for eating ice cream," she said with a laugh. "I have to have a little ice cream every day.
"But it is a little more daunting. I fell two times this year. One, I was going to a grandson's ballgame and there was a speed bump in the parking lot and I was not paying attention and I went down. Well, it gashed one knee and one elbow."
A week later, on an unpaved section of a walking track, she stumped her toe and went down on the other side, injuring the other knee and elbow.
"The result of that, I froze my shoulder and had to go have a shot and PT (physical therapy). But I was fortunate. I didn't break anything," she said.
Such instances make you realize how "vulnerable" you are, Mrs. Peacock said.
"You realize your body is not what it used to be," she said. "I know I'm not what I was 25 years ago when I was 50. I know I'm not. I think I am mentally, when I'm going about my daily life. But then reality hits. I'm not. So I have to be a little more cautious."
The concept of "aging gracefully" may be a misnomer, she said.
"I think it really depends on what life has handed you," she said. "Some are able to do it a little more gracefully because they have a spiritual commitment, they have a family connection and they have personal integrity and character that helps them through," she said. "But then life can come and give you some situations that challenge all that. Whether you break a hip or whether you have cancer or some other catastrophic event can really challenge you and it depends on how committed you are as to how you can go through that."
At younger ages, thoughts of growing older don't usually consume people since their days are spent pursuing careers and raising families.
"You always think you're moving forward," Mrs. Peacock said. "When you hit a certain part, with aging you realize there's not a lot more forward to go.
"And what does forward look like? Your finances are different, your energy level, all the things that start slipping away. Whereas, from 20 to 60, you've got all this push to go forward."
Faith is important, she said.
"Without a strong faith, I don't know how people do it," she said. "I have days that are difficult in some respects.
"Volunteering helps. But there's times when I really have to call on the Lord to give me that extra oomph and keep my spirits up, realizing that I have to depend on Him because I can't do it by myself."
Long retired, for years she has enjoyed serving as board president of the Mental Health Association. But this aging thing, she says, is "not going away."
"The golden years, I don't know whoever called it the golden years," she said. "I'm not sure it's even silver.
"But I have been very fortunate and I'm lucky that I sleep well, I'm still in my home, still on two feet and I'm thinking pretty straight."
Dr. Lee Adams just turned 91.
To look at the retired optometrist's schedule, though, one would never know it.
Three to five days a week, he works out at the Y -- starting as early as 5:30 a.m., taking a spinning class, doing yoga, using the Stairmaster.
He enjoys joking around and some good-natured teasing.
"I say to people at the Y, 'Don't just sit there. Work out,'" he says with a laugh, adding, "I like to show people my muscles."
He has also participated in triathlons and marathons, his first when he was 60.
Teamwork is one of his foundational credos, along with his other philosophy -- faith.
"Hang on and look up," he quipped. "Do the best you can with what you've got.
"I put spiritual first. Physical and relationships, I have been so blessed to know so many people who are upbeat people and have a sense of humor. Everybody at the Y's upbeat and happy."
He has always likened life to a game, he says, and has his own theories on the secret to having a long one -- including "Getting off to a good start."
"My mom was raised in an orphanage and my dad had four years of school but if you take what they did with three kids, you could write a book," he said. "My dad always had me working. He let me play sports. If I wasn't playing ball of some kind, he had me working. He always had a job for me, like delivering milk before school."
Exercise, faith and relationships are probably the cornerstones that keep one healthiest, he said.
"It's important from here up (pointing to his neck) as it is here down," he said. "I read recently that attitude is a bookmark to any situation you're in. You can pull up the good if you look for it."
Mary Frank Keller could also complain if she wanted to.
Most days, though, she doesn't want to.
Instead, she focuses on the circle of friends she has had since they were little girls.
"There are nine of us, eight now," she said, since one recently passed away. "We're a fun group."
Except now, in contrast to the moniker "the Earthquakes," their alma mater's football team, the Goldsboro High School graduates have embraced a more appropriate name, the Galavanting Grannies.
"We have shirts that say, 'Galavanting Grannies,'" she said. "We're a fun group. We have taken a lot of trips together.
"When we first started we were full blast and we went to Disney World. Even now we have fun and you wouldn't know that some are in better health than others."
They often gather at the "Granny Shack," at Garden Walk, where one of the members lives.
The group's graduating class just celebrated its 60th reunion this weekend.
At 78, Mrs. Keller realizes she, and her friends, are no longer spring chickens.
"Different ones get different aches and pains," she said. "Some of us are crazier than others but we're a fun group. It's helpful when we can get together, it really is.
"One of our members has Alzheimer's. We talk every day. Sometimes she'll remember I've called and sometimes she won't."
The social aspect of life can be good medicine, despite the ailments that are going to come your way, she said.
"We're just teenagers when we're together, but we're not otherwise," she said. "We have our low times but at the same time, we're like a bunch of young'uns. We love to be around young people."